This Momma's a Mess of Mixed Emotions PART TWO

(Please read previous post first, as this is actually a continuation of that)

So the new tic is called COPROLALIA...which is the involuntary swearing or uncontrollable utterance of obscene words or socially inappropriate and derogatory remarks.

I cannot even begin to put into words how devastating this is! 

WHY do these kids who already endure enough, and already get made fun of for their other tics whether it be blinking their eyes rapidly, or jumping, or screaming, or coughing, these kids who are already labelled DIFFERENT.. Why do they have to develop THIS tic???? 

 It got me thinking.. Wondering.. Why is this tic so devastating to me?? I mean we've experienced lots of tics over the years.. And Allyssa has some very difficult obsessive Intrusive thoughts she has to cope with, that are very unsettling to say the least.. But even with those, there wasn't this complete feeling of devastation that I'm feeling now!!!  And that's when it came to me.. No one can see or hear Allyssa's obsessive intrusive thoughts, and although it breaks my heart that she struggles with these negative, unwanted harmful thoughts, we deal with them together in private, no one watching, judging, making fun or yelling at her to Stop It!  (I will write more on intrusive thoughts in another post another day.. Because I feel it's important for people to know what goes on in the minds of these kids on a daily basis) 

So once again it's the ignorance of people about these conditions that makes it more devastating for those suffering than the tics themselves are!  People are going to judge my daughter when they hear her cussing, people are going to judge her Dad and I when they see us do nothing and completely ignore her cussing, people are going to judge my 3 yr old when she repeats what she has heard her sister tic, and again people are going to judge me and my husband as the parent's of that three year old !! How's Allyssa's friends parents going to feel about Allyssa playing or hanging out with their child now? She already has a limited number of "friends" anyway because of the belief that different isn't Cool!  How are we suppose to go to church and Allyssa to youth on Sunday and Wednesday nights?  My daughter shouldn't be punished for something she cannot help, and she should be able to continue worshipping Her Savior in fellowship with her Christian peers... But what will others think? What would I have thought if I hadn't lived the life I've lived and been blessed with Allyssa in my life? What's the right answer? 

Now I'm not saying that others are the only reason this particular tic is devastating.. Imagine how Allyssa would feel, standing in the house of The Lord, worshipping Him with all her heart and out of nowhere hollering out "fuck.. Son of a bitch!"   HEARTBREAKING!!!! That's all I can say! God Bless this beautiful child of yours.. Of Mine!!  We NEED your help, your guidance, your comfort God and we need others to be understanding and compassionate!!  

All words have left me.. My emotions have taken over.. So time to go for now.. God is in Control, His Plan is Perfect!! I Do Believe!!! Just help us through this God!!! Amen!